Most of us feel like we are walking a fence - desperately trying to balance all of the needs of our families, the demands of our jobs, the upkeep of our homes and material goods, and still maintain some semblance of self... mind, soul, and body.
... And then the Holidays hit... making everything more complicated and giving you even less time to do it in.
So how do you keep from going absolutely insane? I mean really loosing it and checking in as a long term ward at a mental institution?
I rely on a few steady standbys. Productive lists and backtracking, purposefully scheduling me-time, deliberate sense of humor and humanity, and strong focus on joy.
Wait! Don't stop reading yet, many of these things will be familiar to you. However, you might just be familiar with them but not actually be practiced in applying them to your life. Kinda like watching someone bake or decorate a cake - you are familiar with the process but the experience is not in your own hands and you are clumsy when you try to do it yourself the first several times.
1) Productive lists and backtracking. Take ten minutes the next time you feel panic rising. WRITE down, yes, physically, what it is you are scared of, overwhelmed by, and work to understand it. Look at it from several angles. Ask someone you trust, two heads are better than one. Are they tasks? - break it down into steps - WRITE those down and give each one a due date. Is it an event? - Is there anything you can do about it? WRITE it down. The actual secret is to WRITE it down so it is visible - generally humans do better with visual clues (and cues). Trust me, this one is huge. When I was in the Navy, everyone carried a little jot journal. It was about 2 by 4 inches and always accessible. The base commissaries sold thousands of them. Make your thoughts tangible, by making them visible, then dealing with them productively, you will have freed up mental space and so much energy.
2) So you have successfully got your lists of what to do, and when, planned it on a calendar by backtracking, and now you can see your time available. DON'T WAIT, plan yourself some downtime. Know you need your hair done, think you want a new Christmas dress, suspect you will be desperate for an escape with your honey, know a hot stone massage would restore flagging spirits, have you scheduled in physical exercise? PLAN IT ahead of time. Put it on your calendar, book it, and know that you have these rewards sprinkled throughout your month. (These tips work for any time of the year, but I find I need all my skilz this time of the year.)
3) This is the silly season, you have no idea what someone else's life is like on the inside. Look for humor, deliberately focus on how something could be funny. Don't take slights personally, you have no idea what that person might be going through. I have had people deride my business and me until I felt like the lowest untouchable... only to get a peek into their lives and realize that they were responding from a pit of despair. Things can always be worse, there is always something to laugh at, know your worth, and that you positively affect those around you.
4) Keep joy in your heart, sometimes this is hard, really hard. You will have to trust me on this one too. A little Pollyanna-attitude never hurt anyone, find joy in every little thing. Your life will be richer, you will be happier, you will make others around you happy, it is an upward spiral that takes a little work but is definitely worth it.Please feel free to add your suggestions as well at the end of the blog.
